Hi. Great post. I see where you're coming from, I've thought the same about my situation:
I want my dad (and mom too maybe) to accept me and for us to be friends but they won't even speak to me because I left the JW religion. I'm 39, the youngest of 5 and we're not getting any younger, right? I could pursue some things that I think my dad might listen to about the JWs, but I have to step back and think like you are. . .he's 72, and how much life does he have left? 10-15 ok years left? I want my daddy, but I know if he left it he'd lose relationship with my mom and the other 3 kids that are in it, and countless friends, he'd lose his whole life's routine which brings him happiness. On the other hand, I won't 'do' the jw thing anymore cause it's an awful, hateful, false cult, and I won't fake it in order to earn my parents' love AND their disowning me is NOT making me want to go back to it.
I've been (as have others here) a teenager JW with 'worldly' friends, and I'll tell you this about your friend: she's torn between having a boyfriend and not--cause NOT having a boyfriend is the JW rule. You gotta hide what you are to everyone in both your lives and it's hard. Plus, the JWs are totally anti-sex-before-marriage. (they're almost totally anti-sex now that I think about it.) If you were to 'be her first' her parents would be all devastated and she'd have to tell the elders everything she did, everyone would know in her congregation and it would be ugly, they make such a big deal out of it. I'm not trying to make you leave her alone, just want to make sure you get the JWs. They're freaks, total freaks. Everything is bad and naughty, and every bad thing on the news means that 'the end is near'. Sure, their happy in it when it's all they think about.
You're a kind person to consider her happiness now and future; you rock. Really.